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A. Remember how it began

The Beloved speaks in 5b (or is it the Lover?)  "Under the apple tree I roused you; there your mother conceived you, there she who was in labour gave you birth."  Probably one of them is recalling their first meeting.  One sleeps under an apple tree when he or she is awakened by the other. 

Bearing in mind the spiritual application which we believe is appropriate to this portion of Scripture, it is tempting to assume that the Lover speaks.  It is appropriate to think of her as being asleep - exhausted perhaps, but certainly dead to his charms.  Then he comes and awakens her and she is, as it were, conceived and born.  That was the beginning of life. 

If you are a Christian, you may not be exactly sure when you were converted, but you can at least remember the first time you were really sure that you were or when you first awoke to your spiritual situation.  Such a memory is precious and ought to be recalled.  There you were dead to God and to life in Christ but then the Lord came and awoke you.  He gently raised you up and you were born again.

However, it is probably more likely that it is the Beloved speaking.  She has referred to him before as an apple tree and may be she is speaking of him by using this term.  Otherwise she has in mind simply a fruit tree and all that evokes of romance.  Spiritually speaking, she is recalling, as she has before, the coming of Christ into this world and her discovery of him by the grace of God. 

It is good when we remember, as best we can, how it all began.  How excited we were to discover Christ, asleep as it were.  How eager we were to awake him and receive his blessings.  That is how it should go on.

There's an application to marriage too.  There's probably no such thing as love at first sight but there is certainly attraction at first sight and many couples can talk about how they first met and the feelings they had even then.  Some, of course, knew one another for many years before there was any serious thought of marriage.  Every couple has its story.  Children might like to ask mum and dad their story if they don't know it. 

I'm sure that it is generally a good thing to keep in mind how it all began. Marriages can hit difficult times and sometimes the best antidote to troubles is just to remind yourself of what attracted you to your spouse in the first place.  Of course, some marriages get off to a shaky start and it's better in some ways not to dwell on how it all began.  But God turns even seemingly hopeless situations around remarkably at times and it is to such turning points that attention must be directed.

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B. Nurture it with the right desires

In vv 6&7 it is generally agreed that it is certainly the Bride speaking.  She sums up the whole theme of the Song and brings it to a climax.  "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.  It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.  Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.  If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned."  So here we have an earnest request to the Lover prompted by a realisation of the nature of true love.

We look at the earnest request first.  "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm", she prays.  In ancient times, seals were used by important people, especially kings, as a quick and easy - yet unique - means of identifying their authorship and ownership.  By means of a ring or a pattern engraved on a pendant or bracelet, a seal could be impressed in wax, marking ownership.  There is also some evidence that lovers would exchange seals.  Her prayer then is that she might belong uniquely to her Lover, that she might be his alone.  She seeks such assurance.

In marriage it's important that there is such assurance.  Not only must the relationship be an exclusive one - there must not be a closer relationship with anyone else - but there must be a willingness not to let anything else so dominate that husband or wife is put into second place.  To desire assurances that this is the situation is right and good. 

Similarly, this is an appropriate prayer to address to Christ.  "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm."  We want every assurance that we really are his.  The greater our assurance, the more certain it is, the better.  Let's seek it earnestly.

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C. Understand the nature of true love

She makes this request because she truly loves him.  She describes her love for him using several images to express its strength.  Some take it rather as a description of his love to her.  Perhaps we are wisest to see it as a description of true love that will manifest itself in similar ways wherever it occurs.

1. Its strength - as great as death

Think of the power of death.  Slowly but surely it picks us off one by one.  None of us can escape it.  Love's as strong as that.  "For love is as strong as death." 

We see it supremely in Christ and his love for his own.  He even went to the point of dying on the cross to save his own.  Because he first loved us, as believers, we ought to love him too with strong, enduring love. 

In marriage, husbands have the model of Christ's love for his church, and wives that of what the church ought to show to Christ.

2. Its intensity - as unyielding as the grave

"Its jealousy unyielding as the grave."  True love is as determined as the grave.  Nothing can overthrow it or defeat it.  It will win out.  We tend to think of jealousy as a bad thing and, of course, in fallen sinful man it can get out of control, but jealousy itself is right and proper.  True love brooks no rivals.  God is jealous and will have no rivals for his people's affections.  In response we ought to be jealous for his honour also. 

All this should be reflected in marriage.  Woe to that person who tries to interfere with the marriage of another and arouse their jealousy.  We do not condone murder but it is true that some people have lost their lives in such a move.

3. Its passion - as unquenchable as blazing fire

"It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.  Many waters cannot quench love."  Fire is another powerful force.  You've seen film of forest fires.  Despite their best efforts fire fighters can't hold the flames back.  You've seen, perhaps at close quarters, what devastation fire can cause.  That's what true love is like.  Do what you may to dampen it down, to quench it or quell it, yet still it thrives.  It blazes and flames.  Even when you think it has died right down, the embers can be fanned into flame again and the blaze is raised once more. 

The phrase mighty flame is literally 'Flame of the LORD'. God is love.  He has a passionate, unstoppable love for his own. 

Again, this ought to be part of marriage.  We sometimes speak of keeping the flames of passion stoked - we must.

4. Its unquenchableness - as immovable as a rock

Perhaps the phrase, "Many waters cannot quench love, rivers cannot wash it away," is moving to a different picture.  You know the power of water to alter the landscape.  When floods come or the sea is high, whole chunks of land can be carried off.  True love isn't like that.  It withstands such onslaughts and like a rock in a storm it remains unmoved despite all that may be thrown at it. 

Here is another picture then of the true love seen in Christ that ought to be reflected in our love to him and the love that binds man and wife together in marriage.

5. Its preciousness - it's beyond price

"If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned."  It's part of the nature of true love that it cannot be bought.  Sometimes people can be bought off. They want something badly, but if you get your price right they can be bought.  True love isn't like that.  If you say to a true lover, "Listen, I'll give you £100, £1000 if you will give up your love," not only would the true lover refuse you - he would look at you with scorn.  "Do you understand the first thing of what real love is all about?"  Money can't buy me love.  This explains why a wife will stay with her husband even though he's poor, and why neither bribery nor persecution can persuade the true believer to deny his Lord.

'All you need is love' was John Lennon's famous phrase.  Poetically speaking he was right, of course.  However, we must understand what love is all about.  Until we do, chanting the phrase 'All you need is love' is like chanting a mere mantra.  It means no more than 'abracadabra' or 'rhubarb, rhubarb'.

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